its good to be back in training. i had too many frustrations/stressors/emotions bottled up inside my last week and not having training as my outlet was really hard. maybe thats why i fainted. idono. but its good to be back. it feels good to fight again. i thought id be completely out of it. as in. timing and stamina gone. but i can still hang. it was also weird to get “good jobs” and high fives from my coach. he hardly acknowledges me. so i dont expect them. i kinda just train for self development and to be strong for my teammates. so getting recognition was kind of nice.
im still having a hard time gaining weight. right now i sit at 53kgs. im glad my coach decided not to move me up to 57kgs. so i just gotta maintain 53kgs because its the very minimum i can be. my coach and teammates prefer i be 55-56kgs. i can aim for that. but im just glad i dont need to worry about gaining weight anymore because im already in the weight class i need to be in.
so yesterday, Pogs and i were walking around outside of campus after class. it was like. 6 pm. we walked past these group of boys who were about 11-13 years old. they tried to mug us and threatened to stab Pogs. one of them grabbed my butt, Pogs stopped, and it looked like he was really going to hurt the kid. i was so scared both of us were going to get hurt. Pogs always says he cant promise me money, but he can promise me safety. i thought yesterday was a moment he was going to live up to that promise but i am glad he didnt have to and that both of us are safe. its really sad to see kids act that way at such a young age. sigh.
on a more positive note — at the end of our date, Pogs picked me up and i absolutely hate being picked up. he said he wouldnt put me down unless i kissed him. so i did. and. it was the cutest thing ever. so cheesy. but its the silly moments that we share that make me so happy. he really is the best company. i enjoy every single moment with him. even if he’s getting frustrated with me while he’s coaching me in training or while we play lol. yep, he taught me how to play lol and i am so bad at it. hhahaah
i like how things are between the two of us. i’ve realized and accepted i am no longer the center of his life. And i am okay with that, it made sense when he wanted to spend every minute with me before because that’s how the honey-moon phase is. and i absolutely loved it. i will always cherish that part of our relationship.
i am thankful and so appreciative for just being a significant part of his life now. i know he loves me, so im okay with spending time with my friends and him spending time with his friends. its healthy that we do our own thing. ive also realized there is no point in worrying about him doing something stupid. just because his friends are into smoking, drinking, and some of them cheat on their girlfriends/date multiple girls, doesn’t mean Pogs will do any of those things. Pogs is his own person. he knows right from wrong. most importantly, i respect and trust him. just like he trusts i wont do anything with or develop any feelings for the handful of guy friends i have and spend a lot of time with.
i think what makes us work (other than trusting and respecting each other) is that we make the most of the time we do spend together. whether its an entire day, a few hours, thirty minutes, or twice a week. we enjoy every moment we have with each other.
the way we are now is perfectly fine. if we can continue to always communicate and he can give me complete honesty, just as i asked for. and i can be more accepting, just as he asked of me.. Pogs and I are definitely going to be a strong and loving couple.